I love him but I can't see myself dealing with his ex wife and 2 kids?!?

These are the facts of life. You have to decide whether you're strong enough to intercede when the question comes down to what you can put up with. It's not like he's still in any meaningful relationship with his ex, so really the most you may have to contend with is issues he may get in pertaining to visitation with his kids. And as far as being away from your home, you'll probably get over that as soon as you make new friends. So don't write off the possibility of this working just yet.