Sunday, July 10, 2011
Has anybody who has been through this felt this way?
Well first off i don't want any pro lifers telling me off as I will just delete your comments if their just judgmental and not helpful. Well about two months ago i had an abortion and am really regretting it i was 18 (my birthday was a month ago) i thought it was the right decision because it wasn't the time to be a parent and no one forced me into it i made the decision and my boyfriend even said he'd still be there for me if i decided to keep it, but i went through with it not because i wanted to but because i thought it was right i was really happy when i found out i was pregnant but when i found out the reality that i would loose my job and have to rely on council tax (i live in england and that's a type of benifits like welfare in america in case anyone was wondering) and be dirt poor because my family is also poor and can only help out so much so i went through with it and ever sense i have just never been the same i don't even feel anything i just feel numb and panicky or depressed and overwhemled when i do im more paranoid and i keep thinking my boyfriend is cheating on me or bitching about me even though he hasn't i now have less hours at work because they said they can tell im stressed and i keep making mistakes every five seconds and cant keep focused thinking about the experience just makes me feel sick i had none stop nightmares but have almost none recently and i just feel soooooooooo tiered it feels like i am ill and i can barley get out of bed and mainly thinking about ending everything i won't do it i only want to because i can barley function and it's like im not even here it feels like im in a dream and im mainly in my head and i have no idea whats going on most of the time. Thanks for listening I'm not looking for a diagnosis or anything just wondering if anyone went through something similar and advice on how to get through it.
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